Lies in my head
by Minerva Rapter
Summary: This story is about how a corrupt mind can make a person do unknown things.
1. Chapter 1

Lies in My Head

I am sorry. I have been regretful for the most part of my life. Constantly dreading what tomorrow will bring because I don't know what's going to happen. Sometimes I feel like my life is a reception of lies where the truth seems to lay hidden in maze. I can't seem to find my way back to that time when I knew who I was. Nevertheless, I got to hither and yon in search for an answer to my many questions.

My insecurities keep me perplexed and oppressed while I stare at myself in the mirror. I ponder why I haven't met the right guy. Why can't I be the beautiful one instead of the hot girl's friend? I just want to be in love with somebody. People tell me to be myself and I'll find somebody, but I'm 21 and never been on date, never been kissed, and never had a boyfriend. In my head, the word, ugly, swarms my mind causing my heart to explode with pain. The tears run down my face like waterfalls and I fall to my knees like in a dramatic scene in a love flick. I'm not a drinker but when I get like this the two Bacardi Mojito wine coolers sit nicely in my stomach, warm.

Passed out in my bed, I wake up to the sound of pots in the kitchen. Mother must be making dinner about now. This depression has me confined to filthy clothes, messy dry hair, and ghastly breath. I spend most of my time in my head rambling on about the many things that are wrong with my life. I seriously need to get out of my head! I get these sick thoughts in my mind like thinking somebody is monitoring my every move so that they could manipulate me. I am crazy, right?! Late at night, when hormones are at their climax I fantasize about an unidentified man in my head. In my dreams, I dance with the devil and drink with the demons. They tell me, "just be pretty but naïve and anything you hear is what you believe."

Black circles around my eyes because I can no longer sleep. My mind keeps haunting me with the lies that keep me a prisoner in the unknown. I grind my teeth and try to fight this corruption with a twist of my tongue, I challenge my mind. I find myself again looking at myself in the mirror but I don't recognize the person looking back at me. It's the coming before the storm and death lies in my bed undressed and says, "Just be pretty but naïve and anything you hear is what you believe." So begrudgingly, I succumb to the lies in my head.


	2. Chapter 2

People don't tell me everything and it seems like an injustice to our relationship. I assume they think I'm just too fragile to handle their issues. I've been kicked and thrown down in this miserable life of mine but I'm still here kicking and screaming. Incessantly, I get abused by people who consider themselves close to me. I wear my heart on my sleeve; quick to give it away because I desperately yearn for someone to love me. I have a strong support system but I feel terribly lonely. I have no close friends and no boyfriend. I recently started getting high with household products; needed something to keep me on cloud 9.

My emotional scars are deep and they bleed. There are those who try to drive me crazy or try to make me believe that I'm crazy. I know they are envious of me for some reason that is beyond me. I keep trying to find Mr. Right, but he always rejects me. In friendships, I sabotage myself because I'm always scared that they will hurt me so I hurt them first. I'm paranoid. I think that everyone is after me; they all want to hurt me or worse. Every night I sleep with death and cuddle up to the demons that eat at my brain. Sprawled on the floor like a dead animal, I count the days till I'm expired.

"Don't just lay there like a nincompoop" someone said in a cold voice. I turned my head over to the left, my eyes were blurry and I could barely make out the figure that was kneeling towards me. I closed my eyes, and then opened them again. This time I could make out a long nose, too long to be human. It had pointy ears on top of its head and huge eyes. I must be hallucinating, hence the fact that I just inhaled all the household cleaning products I could find.

"You're not real" I whispered.

"I'm very real" It responded. I reached out my left hand and touched its left arm. It was very scaly but yet soft at the same time; not human at all.

"What are you?" I suspiciously asked.

"I'm complicated" it sighed.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"It's Mr. Winter to you" it sneered.

"He's social awkward" someone sarcastically said from my right; I turned to face a red faced creature with horns on its head.

"Are you the-the-the devil?" I stuttered.

"Oh dear God, no, he's a bloody awful bloke, I'm a demon" it gleefully cried out. A demon? This was getting really weird.

"So what's your name?" I asked the demon.

"I'm demon" it responded.

"I know you're a demon, what is your name?" I asked oh so agitated.

"Folks weren't so bright, so they named me, Demon" the demon said in abashment.

"Oh, so sorry" I smiled.

"Don't be, there are hundreds of Demons" someone said in a high pitched squeal from behind me. Let me see, a talking chubby pig, I thought.

"What gave me away?" the talking pig exuberantly asked me.

"You can read minds?" I yelled as I pulled myself up to face it.

"Ooh, she's smart!" the talking pig jumped up with joy. "I'm Hubert, by the way, how do you do?" it reached out its hand for me to shake it. I looked at it skeptically for a few seconds, but then decided to be civilized with the talking pig. Its hands were small, soft, and warm. They reminded me of a baby's hand.

Suddenly, I was overcome with a wild urge to stab myself with a pen just to prove if this was real or not. I quickly grabbed a pen that was right by my left foot and stabbed my left thigh with it.

"Ouch!" I screamed in pain.

"Maybe, she's not too bright" Mr. Winter laughed. They were real. I wondered why they were here with me in my room and what they wanted from me. This was just so completely mad. I assumed I went bonkers.

"You're not crazy" Hubert comforted me as he patted my back.

"We're here to help you" Demon smirked at me.


End file.
